“XO”, or “On the Other Side of the Screen”
I woke up to the soft caresses of XO this morning.
I wrote soft, because it felt soft and loving, but that was just the beginning. A prelude to what was coming next – a feel of hot and feverish bodies answering each other on a whole other level. A skin brushing, heart racing, hair rising experience, so tailored to my fantasy, so hot and overwhelming, I was all in.
I have rarely felt so calm and appeased after a moment like that, so pleased, so fulfilled. I wish I could say how amazing that was to XO. I wish I could thank him for giving me such intense sensations that my heart is still racing after hours upon waking up.
I have no means of sharing that with him though. XO is gone already. He is a gorgeous, talented, hot, human being – an acclaimed wonder of a man. I wish I could have him all to myself, but I already am quite lucky, he wandered into my bed this morning. I must admit I was not expecting him to show up on my doorstep.
Until this morning, I was not even aware we shared such a connection. He surprised me with a move so bold I could not refuse him. He entered my life, right when I needed his presence, and left it as soon as my subconscious wishes were fulfilled. I emerged from this beautiful fantasy he created for me with a big smile and rosy cheeks burning bright on my face.
Such a thoughtful gift – virtual, vivid, viral. A meddling of all his talented appearances on screen, yet bearing such a close-to-real feel – the best post valentine morning present I have ever got.
I needed it.
I have seen XO so many times, watched from afar, knowing that he could never spot me, nor be there for me, yet fantasizing about him nonetheless. About how imperfectly perfect he was, how wonderfully lucky a woman would be to become the object of his affections. His tender love, his cheeky jokes and thoughtful strokes, his bright smile and deep voice, his kind heart and guarded ways – all of him sounds like a dream.
And that he is.
XO did not really have anything to do with this experience. I was the only one living it. It did not diminish the intensity of it all. It just brought down to none the chances of it happening again, while I am awake. His handsome figure could knock at my door again, while I am about to break free from slumber.
This one-way screen-facing romance, he brought it all to me without ever asking for anything in return. Burning his face and smile, imprinting on my mind like a powerful spell that can never be erased, once it has breached the surface.
XO acted his way into my life.
One day, he entered through a screen, a virtual path to my very real heart. He walked all the way in, to the meanders of my subconscious mind, and the idea of him never found its way out of this labyrinth.
Subconscious I is there somewhere too, and sometimes we run into each other. Day or night, at random times, when I pick up on a trigger, his face pops up in my head.
I close my eyes, and we chat.
There is a chance we will meet again in the world of my dreams. In real life, haha, no. I know. Not happening.
Still, I thought your handsome chiseled face might like to know how it feels to stand on the other side of the screen.