Letter #9 – Anchored
Thursday, March 5th, 2054, ITF Quarters, Rockham-Sakbir, Jail County
You are so beautiful. All of you is comfort. You are such a peaceful soul by nature. Seeing your pretty face distorted by pain, seeing loss turning your traits into those of a threatened, frightened creature, all alone in that small room just tore my heart to pieces.
Your face looks like it has aged years in a couple of days. I know you would not like to hear this. Still, I feel like I have to, I need to tell you that I see you. You know I will love you in fifty years, when you look old and withered on the outside, because with everyday that passes your soul is expanding, blossoming, harboring ever brighter colors on the inside.
All I want you to know is that seeing you in pain is torture. I am worried about you. I care about you so much. My heart has been with you from the very first day I set eyes on you, even if I was not aware of it. All I want you to know is that I am fully aware of it now. I will always treasure my feelings for you and care for you, for as long as I live and even beyond, if there is a beyond.
It is killing me to see you so lost and so scared. It is killing me to be so utterly unable to reach out to you. It is killing me to know where you are, and not to be able to escape, and comfort you.
I want to burst out of this room and punch my way out of this place. I know that would not be smart. You taught me to be smart. You taught me to think before I act. I know I would not make it out alive using means of violence. I am in way over my head with my hot-blooded bullshit already. They got me cornered. They ordered maximum security to be enforced until I cave in – or make them believe I did. Anyhow, for now I am overpowered in this place.
It is killing me to be so powerless. It is killing me not to be by your side. It is killing me not to be able to recreate a safe bubble of love around you to ease your pain, and help you regain hold of this whole situation.
I am a prisoner within these walls. With the image of you suffering on my mind, the absence of freedom I had accepted as a temporary adjustment, until an opportunity arises, is weighing down on me so heavily that my heart feels like it is tearing apart from the pressure.
I love you my Lakhi.
I wish there was something I could do to reach out to you, hug it out of you, all this suffering, and this whole layer of doubt taking hold of you in this moment of loss.
I wish I could be a better anchor in your life, not just one that only exist in your memories.
I know you cannot hear this, nor read this, but maybe this sixth sense of yours will let you feel my thoughts from a distance.
I am yours, my Lakhi. My focus is all aimed at you. I love you. You can solve this, and get back on your feet. I believe in you. I always have, and always will.
You will get back on your feet, sooner than you think. You always do.
Then I will hold you in my arms, and never let go of you, ever again.
I am and will remain yours,
10.000 words in 30 days #Wattpad challenge.
Read it on Wattpad – Hailie Andersen’s A Pathway to Your Soul